As I hurtle towards a significant birthday I have found myself starting to wonder at what point I will begin to feel grown up.
I could be half way through my life, but if I’m honest it feels like it hasn’t even started yet. And that’s not saying that the things which have happened in my life so far haven’t been significant, or fulfilling, because they have. Those events just don’t make me feel as grown up as maybe I expected.
Is this feeling of being grown up just something seen through the eyes of a child rather than an adult? It seems like my parents have been grown up for all of my life, I was sure they were born grown up, but they actually went through much more than I have, and at a younger age.
I wonder if some of my feeling is down to ambition, I’ve never had a planned career plan, let alone a progression plan and maybe that leaves me feeling that I haven’t reached my full potential. And if I feel as if I haven’t reached my full potential yet, maybe I see that I am still growing up and the best of me is still to come. But what might that be? Do I need a career change to challenge me? Do I need to gain a higher qualification? Do I need a hobby?
I’ve no idea what will make me feel grown up – but I secretly hope my 18 year old self is cheering and whopping at the feeling that life is only just beginning.